Joey Billionaire
by summonedskull007
Summary: One crazy thing after another happens, and Mai believes that Joey is a billionaire! He likes her attention and all, but is it for love or for money?
1. Seeing Stars

* * *  
  
Joey grinned deviously. The perfect midnight snack. He gazed with unconditional love at his masterpiece; a double-decker submarine sandwich oozing with melted cheese upon diced turkey and ham slices, beds of lettuce, tomatoes, olives, and his super-secret mayonnaise recipe. He drooled. It seemed too good to be true. As he was ready to sink his teeth into the nicely cooked French bread, the phone rang.  
  
Joey's eyebrows furrowed as he ignored the phone's shrill plea and prepared to scarf down his lovely creation. Again the phone protested. Sighing, he went to pick up the receiver, not the Hero.  
  
"Hello?" he asked, his eyes scanning the caller I.D.  
  
"Yo, Bozo, get your butt down here; all night partyin' at my place!" shouted Tristan over the booming music.  
  
"Dude, I'm kinda in the middle of something," replied Joey, annoyed." Besides, I gotta pick up Mai early at the airport tomorrow morning."  
  
"Man, you're gonna be missing some pretty girls."  
  
"Well, I'll be seeing one later. Later, T." He hung up and glanced at his sandwich and suddenly didn't feel hungry anymore. Serenity appeared in her bunny pajamas with a grin. "Hey Joe!" she called. "Great looking snack!"  
  
"You can have it," Joey murmured absent-mindedly as he disappeared to his room. He was thinking as soon as he slipped under the covers. It was of no use. When his mind was full and his stomach was empty, it was hard to sleep.  
  
Why didn't he go to the party like Tristan suggested? Why did he just meet some else? Why did he believe that Mai would fall for him? He was stupid; that was all.  
  
A soft breeze rippled Joey's dishwater blonde bangs, sweeping them across his brows. He turned to face the open window sighing sleepily. Stars winked back at him as they rested against the velvet blue blanket sky. 'The day Mai will dig me will happen when I win a billion dollars', he mumbled to himself. 'Yeah, and that'll happen . . . when I get a haircut.' Laughing to himself, he fell asleep.  
  
* * *  
  
Mai folded her hands together in her lap, crossing her legs, then uncrossing them. She squirmed uncomfortably, twisting in any possible position.' First class, my butt,' she though, sinking in the chair miserably. She rubbed her neck. "Another half-hour of this and I'll crack," she muttered.  
  
Bored, she fished out her file and began to trim her talons, blowing gently on the excess dust. She glanced around, No reading material available. She cocked her head to the side and noticed the person down the aisle was reading a Domino newspaper.  
  
"LOCAL WINS $100,000,000,000 IN " was all she could read. She was sure that Seto Kaiba had probably got it one way or another. She leaned back a sighed heavily. Mai pulled up the window shade, gazing at the dark wispy clouds passing by. The stars glittered like white fiery balls, blinking from the thick concentrate of the cloud.  
  
She stretched and yawned, shutting off the little light. Tomorrows a big day after all,' she thought, closing her eyes. As soon as she did, an image of that idiot, Joey Wheeler appeared with a wide grin. He was laughing at her. Her eyes flew open, a dull red flush crawling over her cheeks. Her throat tightened at the thought of him. Scowling, she slumped in her seat and crossed her arms. 'No dreams are good dreams,' she thought sleepily.  
  
* * *  
  
Joey ran his tongue across his lips repeatedly. He was thirsty and too lazy to get out of the darned bed. Snorting, he rolled onto his stomach, his legs and arms tangled in his blanket until he fell off. He rolled up and snuggled with the carpet. "Huzmna . . ."  
  
Serenity leaned over to study him, her hands on her knees. Her long red bangs brushed against Joey's nose. She yanked herself in time before he sneezed. He jolted in an upright pose, blinking.  
  
"Serenity?" he mumbled, smacking his lips.  
  
"You're late!" she chirped in reply.  
  
" Late? Late for what? It's Saturday morning, Reeny, a very early Saturday morning," he grumbled, shoving his head under the pillow.  
  
"But aren't you gonna pick up your girlfriend, Mai, at the airport?" she asked, twirling her hair with her fingers.  
  
"Jeez, Serenity, for the absolute, last time, Mai is not my- Oh no! I forgot!" He tried jumping to his feet, but promptly fell flat on his face. 'I'm late! I'm late!" he yelled as he untangled himself from the evil clutches of his super-hero blanket.  
  
He rushed into the bathroom, brushing his teeth in frenzy. Hurriedly, he ran the comb's teeth through his unruly hair until he hit a snag. In horror, he discovered a huge wad of dried bubble gum stuck to the side of his head.  
  
* * * 


	2. Cut

* * *  
  
"No . . . No . . ." Joey panicked, clawing at the stone-hard lump welded into his hair right above the side of his head. "Okay, Joey- just stay calm! This is all a dream . . . Just a silly, stupid little dream! You'll wake up soon . . ."  
  
To his despair, harsh, cold reality reflected back at him in the mirror. Double Bubble gum was fastened tightly to his scalp as plain as the saucer- like eyes on his face. Joey tugged at it, sending sharp pains though his skull. He yelped, clutching his head. He was in trouble.  
  
Serenity knocked on the door. "Joey? Are you okay?"  
  
"I'm fine! . . . er- I'm fine, sis. No problem." He tried lowering his high, nervous voice. Joey turned on the sink knob and let water wet his fingertips. He then, swept them across the pellet of pink, hoping to loosen the strands and free himself. He pulled it and screamed.  
  
"Are you sure? Hello?! Joey- let me in! What's wrong???" Serenity began to become alarmed.  
  
"Nothing!" he gasped, petting the tender spot on his head, grimacing. "Ouch . . ." Doing a little jig of pain, he hopped to the door and unlocked it. "Okay, you can come in- but don't laugh!"  
  
Serenity moved in and stared at him. "Oh, no! Big brother, what happened?!"  
  
"I don't know!" he cried, shaking. "But I need to get it out before I'm late!"  
  
Calm and efficient, his little sister acted quickly. She browsed around the sink and then pawed through the medicine cabinet muttering under her breath. "Ah! Here we go! Scissors!" She snatched the silver trimmers and waved them at Joey. "Okay . . . Just sit on the toilet and hold still . . ."  
  
Defeated, he seated his rump on to the toilet lid and shut is eyes. He felt his ball of hair being lifted and then disappearing with a loud snip.  
  
"Uh oh," said Serenity.  
  
A feeling of dread lodged his throat. "What?!" he squeaked.  
  
"Nothing . . . Well, maybe if I part this to the side you can't see it . . ."  
  
"Serenity, give me a mirror!"  
  
"Joey, please calm down!" she begged. "Let me even this out, okay?"  
  
Trembling and stricken with fear, he sat quietly, wincing with each lock that drifted to the floor. His heart thrashed in his chest as he looked up at the clock. Great. When he faced Mai, late and untidy, she would kill him and then he would be half- bald for his own funeral!  
  
He shot a glare at the ceiling until Serenity commanded his head to be bent. God was laughing at him- he knew it.  
  
* * *  
  
"We hope you enjoyed the flight," chirped the flight attendant cheerily. "Please exit carefully and have a nice day!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah," growled Mai under her breath. "Just shut up." Grumpily, she made her way down the ramp with her carry-on bags, rejecting any offers from the plane workers. She didn't sleep a wink last night and was terribly cranky. She wanted to beat someone up.  
  
Her right leg throbbed. It was sleeping. She snorted. At least something was! Tired and weary, she hurried on, hoping that Joey would take her home so that she could get some rest.  
  
Joey? Wasn't that the reason she refused to sleep? Curse him! Curse him and his adorable, half grin and friendly gaze . . .  
  
She shook her head. All of this jet lag was getting into her mind! Mai went inside the airport terminal and dropped her things onto a chair. A mini- Starbucks was across and she needed something to exterminate her walking- corpse-like feeling.  
  
The mocha latte and cinnamon bun she had gobbled made her feel better. Joey still didn't show up and she figured she might as well doll herself up in a trip to the bathroom.  
  
In her horror, she discovered she looked as zombie-like as she felt. Darting glances in the empty room, she washed her face of the icky, dried make up.  
  
She dabbed her skin with a paper towel and let it soften and dry. She then began to apply a great layer of dark red lipstick and deep purple eye shadow. Mai accentuated her eyebrows and lashes, trying carefully not to smudge anything. She patted on some blush and dug around her purse for a brush. After putting on her face and making an attempt to straighten her disorderly mane, she walked out, feeling more awake and definitely prettier.  
  
No sign of Joey yet. Impatience was building and she finally decided to go ahead and get her own luggage. On the way, unhappy thoughts troubled her mind.  
  
* * *  
  
Serenity looked at Joey, unsure on whether to put on a brave smile, or cringe in fear of truth. "Okay, Joe. You can look." She held onto his shoulders and guided him to the mirror.  
  
He looked, silent in terror. "I . . . look like Kaiba!"  
  
She bit her lip. "I'm so sorry! It's just that I cut off too much and had to think of something to do!" She picked up an issue of the Domino Magazine with Kaiba's stern face on the front.  
  
Joey didn't reply. Instead, he combed his fingers over his shortened hair.  
  
"Hurry and get dressed," murmured Serenity. "Or you're going to be even more late."  
  
He sighed. "You're right." He gave his little sister a kiss on the cheek and feigned a smile. "Thanks for the haircut, Reeny." He mussed her hair. "See ya."  
  
* * *  
  
I didn't like chapter two, so I decided to revise it. I hope you like this better. As you can see, I spent a lot more time on it! -_-;; The third chapter is getting there, so you all hold tight!  
  
Summonedskull007 


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